Help answer this question below.
Once activated, mouth does not turn off.
Insert dollar into pocket for three minutes of interaction. Credit Cards accepted.
Don't bother reading the instructions; unit will not respond according to applied directions. May disappear if irritated and reappear in a different time zone or dimension. Responds poorly to abuse and neglect. Feed occasionally but not too often. Do not leave unattended near females.
Not dishwasher safe.
For indoor or outdoor use only.
Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.
Must be 30 years or older to operate safely.
Once used rectally, this product should not be used orally.
For use by trained personnel only.
Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.
Ummm...let's face it, this was an impulse buy, right? Ok, it's not too late to return it...That's right...back in the box...go...Good. Now let's forget this ever happened.
Be VERY careful where you insert the batteries...
Good luck. . . .no warranty available.
Instructions incomplete.
It would say...this is an exact duplicate, you fail!
Warning do not add alcohol!!!
HAHAHA you'll never figure me out. Just have fun. lol
"From 0 to bitch in less than sixty seconds!"
To open box, place pizza next to package, find a good hiding spot, and wait for your purchase to pop out and attack the pizza.
Warning: Is extremely random, violent, moody and destructive. Be sure to have insurance on everything you own. Do not put in same room with an idiot.
Please, don't break the condom.
Please use a condom.
RUNS ON ALCOHOL ONLY!!
To turn on: Pull Here!
Nitro--beware!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You put the socket left into the right foonbopper, then the boinkzapper into the whiznicket. But do not attach the lateral foonbopper to the whiznicket under any circumstances.
Contains Pressurized Gas. Do Not Incinerate.
Caution Choking Hazard - Objects Are Larger Than They Appear. No Refunds.
DANGER, step away or you might be hurt.
Some dis-assembly required.
::Front::
See Reverse for Care Instructions
::Reverse::
See Front for Care Instructions
I'm kinda enigmatic like that.
This product may act erratic when exposed to alcohol, female models or indeed both. This is normal. Leave for 24 hours.
Do not PI$$ off
Do not attempt to out-drink
Ignore what she says completly. It's all nonsense =D
Warning, contents under pressure. At any time contents may explode out and make no sense.
This device is not intended to preform cleaning, cook or any domestic duties. Only intended for original purchase purpose.
Feed regularly or becomes grumpy.
Listen intently.
Hug often.
Love always...
Fragile...handle with care.
Put everything together and make sure it works, have fun and be careful.

Cover with sun oil on the beach and roll in small diamonds. Feed in five star restraunts, and wrap in Mink on cold nights while viewing NYC from the 15th floor of the best hotel in town.
OLD STOCK, WELL TRAINED,
KEEP FED AND WATERED,
KEEP IN SUNLIGHT,
GIVE PLENTY OF TEA AND FAGS
LET IT WATCH JERRY SPRINGER
AND MAURY.
GOOD MILAGE LEFT ON CLOCK.
CAUTION: Handle with extreme care!
Never leave next to a loaded firearm.
Do not agitate, irritate, humiliate, agravate, or attempt to inflict any type of physical or emotional pain. Unit will not respond well and may cause extreme damage to anything in its path.
Does well independtly and may require periods of solitary confinement.
Responds well to TLC and massage therapy.
Gentle with children and animals.
Loving only with the right humans at the right times.
Handle with care but please do handle.
Treat with kindness and respect and you will reap the benefits for years to come.
Destroy immediately, not fit for human interaction.
Instructions:
WARNING!!!! DO NOT OPERATE WITHOUT A SWAT TEAM AND THE WHOLE ARMY!!!! DIRE CONSEQUENCES WILL HAPPEN INCLUDING:
GLOBAL WARMING SPEEDING UP
MASS KILLING
and
ANNOYANCE TILL THE END OF TIME!!!
Thank you.
Daily dose of Chocolate recommended.
"handle with care, may self destruct without warning."
May cause drowsiness.
This device can cause random outbursts of hilarity and causes women with a hundred yard radius to lose all inhibition...
Fragile.....handle with care!
She will never lie, she cries a lot. she requires kisses daily and hugs hourly. She loves to snuggle. And there must be a bathroom located everywhere you take her. She will pee frequently. She will love you as long as you love her.
Open with caution.
This product will kick your ass. When this happens, run in a serpentine fashion to the nears exit. DO NOT LOOK BACK. This will cause the product to get mad and start throwing things.
Suck my dick
*handle with care*
Read the M.S.D.S. THOROUGHLY before use.
Insert Cash in pocket
Who makes papasan chairs?
by Answerbag Staff on March 19th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
Why do people fear public speaking?
by Answerbag Staff on March 19th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
Do sea otters migrate?
by Answerbag Staff on March 15th, 2010
| 1 person likes this
If "might makes right" what makes might...fright?
by RosieGHM Jetpacker 9 hours ago
| 1 person likes this
What does "the best of the best" mean exactly? Does that mean the rest are chopped liver?
by RosieGHM Jetpacker 5 hours ago
| 1 person likes this
You're reading If YOU came with Instructions what would they say?
- which can also be phrased in the following ways:
Comments
yikes!!
by Max Power loves Zack on September 13th, 2007
LOL! +
by Kal-El on January 20th, 2008
Hahahaha! That's funny!
by Me2 on March 16th, 2008
lmao :D
by Tinkabelle on April 10th, 2008
hahaha
by Elvira on May 26th, 2009